Mindful relationships presuppose the existence of a sense of empathy between the partners. This empathy – feeling with – your partner is vital if you are to have a meaningful relationship. We all know that people are unique and different – yet we all assume, at times, that our partners feel the same way about things. When we have disagreements, it’s often hard to see their point of view. By metaphorically walking a mile in your partner’s moccasins, you’ll be in a better position to mindfully consider their point of view and observe differences as just that – differences and not reasons for discord.
The next time you find yourself feeling frustrated or disappointed with your partner try the following exercise.
Imagining yourself in your partner’s shoes:
Each individual has unique experiences. Even if two people appear to experience the same thing, they will make something different of it. We all have our unique biographies which shape us and experiences which add to, challenge or enhance our lives. Our lives are always filtered through our own individual lens. So it’s important to try to understand how your partner’s lens on life looks.
Knowing how unique everyone is, you can be much more mindful of the differences between you and be more empathic and understanding when your partner reacts in a way which might, at face value, seem unusual to you. The way they’ve reacted makes sense to them. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see it through their lens.
By walking in your own shoes, but being able – and willing – to slip into your partner’s shoes from time to time means that you’ll be more conscious of their thoughts and feelings and have deeper empathy and understanding.
To discover more about being mindful in your relationship see The Rules of Love